Bryan 

Objectives?

Tonight I began inquiring about the nature of the relationship between myself and the ever-existent Universe. More specifically the intendment of my being in and about the cosmos. Am I to traverse latterly among the multitudes in an exhaustive, but non-performing pursuit of self-pleasure? The answer to the query at hand, is an illusive one. The influence of materialism has permeated throughout the psyche of man to the extent that logic sometimes seems illogical, wrong to often seems right, and the battle between good and evil seems almost absolutely non-absolute. On the one hand, I am bombarded with unequivocally credible sources that point in the direction of greed, power, pleasure, prestige, quickly-gratifying "eros", and ultimately, a very pleasing, not so wicked-seeming blueprint to pattern my life after. Do I accept this as a conformity to the purported "successful" life scheme of so many others? No. I cannot. Somehow, I have to break from this deadly, humanistic cast. I must choose to disallow this "wretched man" to have the inclination to follow. I must break, I must lead, I must align.

Roamin through the night

Michael W. Smith's "Place in this World" is a song that comes to mind at certain reflective points during the course of my everyday life. During the College years you're supposed to find yourself, True? I feel like I have found myself, but the funny thing is I can't get me to act like me for long periods of time. And, thus, I am no longer looking for myself, merely trying to beat my body into submissively acting like myself. I find it beyond my comprehension how the war between right and wrong, between good and evil, shifts so dramatically. One moment I feel almost suicidal, and the next I'm praising God and wondering why He saw fit to bless me to this great extent. This is true with, not some, but every last aspect of my life: Christian Walk, Dietary Habits, Work, School, My career, My Ministry, Dating habits, Friends, down even to my family. The astonishing thing is I know how to fix, "the swing" but choose not to. At certain intersects, I would, but the choice is a continuous one, a function, a line that is never caught at the same coefficient twice. That is the battle.

If I could just get to Kherson...

5925 miles, that's how far it is from Dallas, TX, USA to Kherson, Ukraine. And if there wasn't an ocean in between us I would leave right now and point my GMC northeast and set the cruise on about 95. I tell you what, I'm so ready to be over there, and away from here. I'm ready to get away from the world for a bit, stop worrying about my studies in Greed or my work with Greed. I am ready to have a life change, one that only comes from getting out of yourself and into Jesus. I am so worried about finals and I should be, but Jesus could come back before I graduate. I have failed at making my purpose in life Building the kingdom, and settled for buliding doors and a BBA. I am ready.

I might have to swing by A-town and pick-up my two buddies, on the way.

Hectic...

With work increasingly burdensome, finals apon me and the everpressing issue of what to eat three times a day, I find it hard to commit to one sector of my life. I'm trying to start my career in the business world, striving to put the finishing touches on a not-so-illustrious college career, decide about the future of my ministry, all while trying to curtail my waistline and improve a quasi-dating situation. I find it so difficult to make my self study when I'm at home, or make myself go to school when I'm at work. At the time I'm doing it, everything seems as if it is the most important thing in the universe. I just wish I could commit to something worthwhile.