In Search of My Sum

Sometimes people call me a hypocrite,
Sometimes people call me a fake,
And Rightly so,
Sometimes I do the things which I hate.

But I would rather fight and loose,
Day after day,
Than to lay down,
Duck, and hide away.

I would rather pick up my cross,
Just to let it slip,
Than to leave it at home,
And that duty skip.

I pray that I will be better,
Perhaps one day become,
The man I try to be,
The man that is my sum.

But if I do not,
If I fail every day,
I'll have hope in Jesus,
And I'll have a crown to lay.

For it is not by my works,
Righteousness I have attained
But by God's Unmerited favor,
And Christ's suffering and pain.